If there was one thing I could tell you about me—it wouldn’t be about me at all—it would be about God Who made me. My life is no more special than yours; nor am I any more gifted than you. The same God created both of us and gave both of us unique and special gifts!
I’d like to share a short story of how God made me who I am today. When I was born, my mom was a flower child of the 60’s and we lived the communal hippie lifestyle until I was about 11. What a great adventure—living in a tepee or on a school bus, traveling coast to coast, attending school sporadically—it was a carefree childhood for sure! My mom met my dad and they lived together for a while until they heard the Gospel and were born again. They were later married and my dad adopted me and my siblings. They left the hippie life and started attending church. However, I was a wild child and didn’t decide to become a child of God until much later–at the age of 23.
However, I wasn’t ready to let God do miracles with the talents He gave me. So, for the next 20 years, I bounced back and forth between following the rules of Christianity and rebelling against God. Along the way, I missed the best part of being a child of God–that is–knowing Him and His great Love. I did awful things; and, although God has forgiven me for them, when I’m reminded of them–I’m still so ashamed! The things I did were so horrible, that at times I even doubted whether I was a child of God! On the outside, I was this Christian who sang in the choir, went to church three times a week, sent my children to Christian school, led Bible studies, gave a ton of money and did the “Christian thing.” But on the inside, something was terribly wrong—none of my good works gave me real joy! In my desperate unhappiness and despair, I left my husband of 23 years; and in the process, was given a choice by the church that I attended to this either come before the church and explain why I left my husband or don’t come back. I chose to not go back.
At that point, I’d never felt so alone in my entire life—but I could not continue to live a lie—it was killing me from the inside. Today, I’m so thankful that the church gave me that tough choice; because the loneliness that came from being separated from the safety of church and Christians was exactly what I needed to find God! So there I was, in the deepest valley of my entire life, and I couldn’t even pray because I truly believed God wouldn’t listen and that He didn’t love me. I mean, if the Christians wouldn’t talk to me or associate with me, then why would God? Then one day—BAM!!! God worked a miracle that marked the beginning of my understanding of Him and His love. You see, when I left my husband, I moved from the beautiful home I’d designed and built on 100 acres–into an apartment. I had been living in the apartment for about a year, waiting on any permanent decisions about my residence to see if there was any hope for reconciliation for my marriage.
One day I was thinking (not praying) that it would be nice to own five acres, on a paved road, close to my office, with a nice view; but in my heart I knew this kind of property didn’t exist and it was just wishful thinking. Well then God dropped a “love bomb” on this girl, in the form of what I now call “the rainbow property” —50 acres within ½ mile of my office with the most gorgeous view in the entire county! At that moment, I knew I had figured God all wrong! In deep humility of my unworthiness to receive such a gift; I began to search to know His Love. All I could think was, “Why would God bless me–the woman of shame–with something this wonderful?” So—this “woman at the well” started to search to know His great love. And now the search is over—AND– just beginning!
When I wake up in the morning, I can’t wait to see what He will teach me and how He will let me glorify Him. Throughout the day, I ask for His wisdom, grace, compassion and power to shine His light and give hope—and of course–He gives it! Words cannot adequately describe the wonderfulness of daily discovering and living in God’s Love!
So, if you are reading this story, then you know what is important to know about me –NOTHING– because it’s not about me –it’s about HIM. HE has given me the words to this beautiful music; HE has given me the voice you hear singing; and HE has blessed me with the musical partnership with a talented Christian man. Additionally, God has inspired me to share with everyone the incredible works I’ve witnessed Him accomplish through this page. Both the music and the book are examples of what God will do with a heart that searches after Him. God has a divine destiny for each of His children. He’s waiting for us to discover Him!